Noise

I find this so very meaningful to me as a reminder of why i need to carve out extended time, going for a reteat, away from the world, to wait upon the Lord, to listen to His still small voice.

What i received from the Lord during my retreat last Nov was the essential fuel for me to do what i need to do since then till now.

Retreat used to be me going to God with my adgenda. Used to go in with a long wish list, expecting God to say "yes" to all of them.

Then i realised that God is more interested in me, not my wants.

Me? The sinful unholy me? Oh O, i'm in trouble, He is going to settle score for everything i should have done but not done; and should not have done but did it anyway.

There was darkness. Pain. Fear. Tears.

i have learnt to come clean now upfront, after all, i cant hide darkness in the presence of His light.

So for the firt time, i went for last year's retreat fully surrendered to His agenda. The leave taken, the money spent, is for Him, even if He choose to be silent and "waste" my whole trip.

But God is good, he dealt with my greatest concern.... first, even before we went into silence proper, though i was prepared to go back hearing nothing on that issue, as i have in the past.

Lovely is His dwelling places.